dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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