If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
