everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
