I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
