I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
