Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
