In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
