he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize