But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize