I bet he comes in French.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize