I think I just saw someone hide a body.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
