She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
