Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
