For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
