Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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