quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
