I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
