Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
