Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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