Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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