I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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