he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
