Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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