I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
