It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
no more duck duck goose at the bar
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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