Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
