I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
