My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
