I must be too annoying 4 u.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize