im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
