Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
