this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
