No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
