If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
