We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize