Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
