he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
