I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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