Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
