best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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