so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
