i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
