Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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