he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
