I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
my nose is crying tears of wow.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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