Apparently you make a good broom.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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