That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize