i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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