I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
