I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
