You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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