So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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