Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
