I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize