Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She told me I should be a condom model.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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