he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
