i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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