i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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