I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hippo gnu deer
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
