Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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